Question 1.0 : How do I
use Chubba?
Question 1.1 : What is the Usenet?
Question 2.0 : How does Chubba work?
Question 2.1 : What does Chubba run on?
Question 2.2 : How can I put a Chubba Search Bar on my home page?
Question 3.0 : Can I work at Chubba?
Question 3.1 : I work at Chubba, how do I get out?
Question 4.0 : What is a Chubba?
Question 5.0 : Is Chubba environmentally safe?
Question 1.0 : How do
I use Chubba?
Answer 1.0 : On Chubba's home/front page, there is a box that allows you
to type in what you're looking for. So, do that first. Next, there are things called
"radio" buttons. Right now, you can search the Web, Usenet, Weather, Dictionary, and Encyclopedia. So, for instance, if you're looking for web pages on
"joni mitchell", type in her name, make sure that The
Web radio button is checked, and press Search.
If you're looking for a weather forecast, type
in your ZIP code or city and state, make sure that the Weather
radio button is checked, and press Search. All of the resources work just
like these two examples.
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Question 1.1 : What
is the Usenet?
Answer 1.1 : The Usenet is a huge network of discussion where you can post
and read messages on a gazillion different subjects. Almost every single topic of interest
is covered by the Usenet. Many people are intimidated by the Usenet, but swell companies
like DejaNews make it easy to interact with the Usenet. In the past, the Usenet was
comprised mostly of text messages -- but throughout the recent years, it has become a
haven for binary files. Most ISPs provide Usenet access, so for more information about
accessing your local Usenet server, contact them. Otherwise, search the Usenet with
Chubba. If you think "world wide web" is cool, you will definitely feel the same
way about the Usenet.
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Question 2.0 : How
does Chubba work?
Answer 2.0 : Whenever you send a search query, one of four Chubba
employees runs frantically to nine different terminals. He/she waits a few seconds until
all the results are in, sorts them in a word processor at his/her primary station (after
typing them in manually, of course) and zooms them off to your browser.
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Question 2.1 : What
does Chubba run on?
Hard work and sweat, if you've read Question 2.0. Oh, you mean the
hardware? We employ 922 hamsters (in hourly shifts) that turn the plastic fly wheels.
This gives us enough power to run our clustered-array of 1500 Timex
Sinclairs.
During heavy load, the human treadmill is deployed to power our Apple //e, the 1MHz
tower of power. But really, we're using Intel CPUs, generic RAM, Seagate and Quantum
hard drives, Adaptec controllers, Linux OS, Apache, and the Texis DBMS by Thunderstone.
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Question 2.2 : How can I put a Chubba
Search Bar on my home page?
That's an easy one. Click here for
instructions. And by the way, thank you in advance for adding our search bar -- we're
certain your visitors will appreciate the Chubba Search tool.
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Question 3.0 : Can I
work at Chubba?
Absolutely! We're an equal opportunity employer. One stipulation, you must
work for free.
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Question 3.1 : I work
at Chubba, how do I get out?
Please, be quiet, close this browser, and get back on the treadmill. And
would you quit writing letters about us to Amnesty International?
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Question 4.0 : What
is a Chubba?
It truly does depend on what "is" is.
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Question 5.0 : Is
Chubba environmentally safe?
Chubba is CFC free (yet another
TWA). We recycle at Chubba. Our big
Culligan water bottles are apparently recycled. We turn off our monitors at the end of the night.
Ahh,
and we only wash our coffee mugs every other month.
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